No matter how much I do for Charley I always find myself feeling guilty. Between the doctors appointments and ALL of the therapies when does Charley just get to be a kid? If we don't do the home therapy program over the weekend am I holding her back? If I let her take a break from her AFO's am I making things worse? Does she eat too much chocolate pudding? ;) There are a million things a day I worry about and 99.9% are related to what's best for Charley. Today her class is going on a field trip to the fair and I have decided not to volunteer.... GUILT! This is the first field trip I haven't gone on. The last day of school is Tuesday and I need to work like mad to accomplish a lot around the house so I can devote my time and attention to Charley and making her summer fun.
I think you find your self in unique situation as well as common one. I think most parents carry guilt and fear of not living up to expectations. The very reasons you talk about is what prevents me from procreating myself. But also think there is really no use for guilt and self pity. Those emotions gain nothing positive. I don't know enough to comment fully, buy appears that you are wonderful mom who has been doing a great job. You are always going to make mistakes and every decision has it's consequences. Your focus should be on the positive, not the negative. You have to live for yourself as well, and know that you are important as well. If you always choose to live for Charley, you may in the future feel guilt about sacrifices you made for her and grow to resent her a little (if you choose to focus on that) I think you have to know that decisions are made, things happen. But as long as you know your heart is in the right place, you should never feel guilty. I think it takes courage to even be a parent. Be proud that you are doing your best and know that it all works out in the end. Just a thought.
Alicia, you are not to feel guilty for not going on a field trip. If you d not take time out to do somethings for yourself, you will lose yourself and then where would you be???? Just saying all of us moms have days when we need to do something that does not involve our children. A time to relax (or get things done) and not have to stop and take care of someone or something else. That is what you have to do to be the mother you want to be. Summer is the hardest time to take care of a child; sepecially if that child has specia needs. They are used to school and having someone to keep them entertained and busy for as long as class is in cession. So take a day or even two and do something for you and you alone...BUT please do not feel guilty. You are a fantastic mother and have been ever ince tou cnceived that precious little daughter
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Debbie (Webbie)
6/12/2012 01:37:43 pm
I love that you have done this blog. I am not technically advanced enough to understand how it exactly works but I have always admired you as a Mom. There has not been any occasion in life that you didn't think about your precious Charley. And she is precious indeed! You have always been a mom that I totally admired - you always have made sure the proper people were taking care and adding something to her life. She and you have added so much to mine also. I am hoping even though you are so much further away that you, I and Charley can reconnect. You are so good at keeping up the relationships in Charleys life and that I totally admire in you as a Mom. I would like to share your story with all the life quality coaches out there - because you are someone that is totally truthful about the good days and the bad days but you constantly give hope and stay positive over all. You are an inspiration! And Charley is truly a miracle - all she has achieved is due to your persistence and you have so much that other parents can benefit through your experiences. I believe you also passed on your determination to Charley. I love you both very much. You are both angels! I truly miss her strong hugs.PS. You deserve your down time also. Hope we get together again soon. Caregivers can't give good care if they don't allow themselves care also. Be gentle with yourself.
Debbie, I coul not have said it better. Alicia is a fantastic mother. She puts her whole self into wha ever she does with Charley being her greatest accomplishment. We all need to learn from her determenation."With God, all things are possible". I do not know who pennbed that phrase but it is the best oine to live and love by
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My Name is Alicia
I am a stay at home Mom sharing my struggles & joys that come with raising a child who has special needs. Welcome to my blog.